Lilith – the Archetype: Claiming your Personal Power

Relationship dynamics and Black Lilith
A drawing I did a couple of years ago during a deep meditation. The black dot represents Lilith.


It’s 1st October and the New Moon is in Libra, ruled by Lilith.  Who or what is Lilith, you might ask?  In astrology terms, the Moon traverses an elliptical path around the Earth. An ellipse has two focal points. One focal point is occupied by the Earth. The other focal point, has been called the Dark Moon, the Black Moon or Lilith.

According to Jewish literature, Lilith was Adam’s first wife.  Lilith was created from the same dust as Adam, and therefore refused to lie underneath him during intercourse.  Adam was angry, but Lilith took herself off to Jehovah and uncovered his secret name.  With the power of knowing of his name, she demanded that he give her wings. She then uttered the unutterable (i.e. his name) and flew off.

Adam felt lonely and complained bitterly. It was then that God created a more subservient model, Eve.  Lore says that Lilith also tried to get Eve to take a bite of the apple from the Tree of Knowledge. She did this not to get her banished, but to gain clarity and see Adam’s true colours.

This archetype symbolises our personal power, shadow side and all.  It’s a good time to question your relationship with yourself; and with others. It’s not about ‘Me, Me, Me.’ Rather, it’s about what you stand for and how you show up within the collective. Consider this within the context of relationships/partnerships of all kinds and wider society.

Lilith: Two sides of your personality

Adam and Lilith’s dynamic also reflects the power struggle of patriarchy against women’s equality. Lilith was written off as a baby-harming seductress, who consorted with demonic forces… Isn’t that often the case within patriarchal society? Consider Adam’s fear of Lilith being equal and her fear of him being in control.

I’m talking here about masculine and feminine energies, not women versus men.  Many women in leadership positions, myself included, can be very action-focussed and assertive. It’s a constant work-in-progress.

Sometimes it’s called for; on other occasions a gentler approach is more appropriate.  Then there are situations where men want to be more outwardly expressive emotionally, but worry about being perceived as weak.

Finding the balance

Finding the balance of masculine and feminine within ourselves can be challenging.  Are there situations where you are excessively dominant; or conversely, too willing to people please?

Where do you give your power away: at work, in sexual relationships, within your family?  When do you stay quiet when you should speak up?  Where in your life is there imbalance?  These are the bigger questions that you should be asking yourself now.

This energy can be used for you to deeply consider how you can step up into the most powerful, principled, compassionate version of yourself.  It’s time to stop shrinking, just because others seem to expect it.  Claim your inner power, my lovely!

About Me

Through my signature coaching programme, LOVE (You), I work with professional people who have experienced emotional trauma (bereavement, breakup, serious illness, redundancy) and are sick and tired of feeling overwhelmed, lethargic or stuck.

I help people to re-connect with themselves and others; develop plans for a more positive and fulfilled future; and start to look forward with positivity.  I love to witness the visible transformation in them.

I only have a couple of spaces left on my programme this month, so email me now at if you’re ready for change!


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